Issue:

Is defendant guilty of the emotion of anxiety when he is worried that his outlines are not updated, he's stressing out about reading all the supplemental materials and the prospect of final exams makes him quiver like he lives in an icebox?

Rule:

Anxiety is a psychological and physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These components combine to create an unpleasant feeling that is typically associated with uneasiness, fear, or worry.

Analysis:

In this case, defendant consumed large quantities of caffeine and guarana extract, leading to physiological changes in his body chemistry and thus keeping him awake at hours when he would normally be sleeping. The lack of sleep led to cognitive deficiencies when called upon to respond in Torts, leaving him with the emotional competence of a five year old, and behaving in an erratic fashion, such as walking back and forth from the undergraduate library and the law library muttering "security or serenity, security or serenity, security or serenity …. " Finally, defendant has begun to worry that he will never understand the difference between unjust enrichment and moral obligation, and becomes uneasy whenever anyone discusses 12(b)(6) motions.

Conclusion:

Defendant has clearly demonstrated the telltale signs of the emotion of anxiety, and therefore can be trusted to flip out at any moment.

Brian Pakpour is a first-year law student who is really not anxious at all … no really … no, seriously … oh, forget it.